Tag Archives: crash

Don’t Drive So Close to Me

Two weeks ago, I had my first proper car accident (we’re not counting the incident with the armchair, that was being hit by debris).  This lead to my first ride in an ambulance (a precaution, I’m fine) and various other things.  My little Honda almost got written off, but thankfully I have her back and repaired already.  It also lead to my first new poem in a few weeks, and first new post in just as long.  A certain Police song might pop in to your head as you read it, it was stuck in mine as I wrote it.  Enjoy!

Don’t Drive So Close to Me
Your lights are dazzling in my mirror,
Don’t drive so close to me.
Now I can read your number plate,
Don’t drive so close to me.
I’m not going to let you push me,
So don’t drive so close to me.
There’s a roundabout here, I’m slowing,
Don’t drive so close to me.
There’s another car coming round,
Don’t drive so close to me.
I have to stop, please see my brakes,
Don’t drive so close to me.
There’s a thud and a jolt,
You drove your car right in to me.
Here’s the police and an ambulance,
Because you drove too close to me.
So here I am being taken to A&E,
I said don’t drive so close to me.
My car is battered but yours hasn’t a scratch,
A Jazz and a Defender shouldn’t drive so closely.


Posted in this week’s Poetry Pantry over at http://poetryblogroll.blogspot.com/2013/07/poetry-pantry-157.html


Filed under Rhymes

The Day I Crashed the Quad

I’m back, with an extra long poem to make up for my appalling lack of updates.  So I finished the last two verses of this one off between sharing my first poem, and then sharing this one at the brilliant open mic I go to on a Monday night.  If you’re ever in Abingdon, the Old Anchor Inn features some very talented and enthusiastic musicians from about 8.30pm.  There are two very different poets present most weeks as well.


This is a true story, and made a few people laugh when I shared it on Monday.  Enjoy!


The Day I Crashed the Quad
New friends at the bottom of the garden,
A lucky lass had her own wee quad bike.
Riding around with her dad as we chatted,
I was offered a go if I’d like.
A quick lesson before I set off,
Having never been on one before.
We learned I wasn’t too bad,
Circling the paddock with two wheels off the floor.
After a few minutes I stopped,
Let the owner play with her toy.
Power restricted, dad with killswitch remote,
‘Round the paddock she rode with joy.
My turn again but full powered,
Killswitch still in my friend’s hand.
With no restrictions I went a bit faster,
And was off the route that I’d planned.
Ahead of me a tree I saw,
And tried to ride around.
I pulled it off but dead ahead,
In my way a car I found.
Upon two wheels I pulled it wide,
And missed it by a hair.
Only to find on my new course,
A giant buddleia was there.
No time to slow or change my course,
In to it’s branches I crashed.
We parted ways the quad and I,
I flew backwards and to earth I smashed.
Expecting a hospital visit at least,
My friend to check up on me hurried.
But I was up, scratched and shaken,
So they really needn’t have worried.
The quad had flipped three whole times,
And I felt terrible for what I had done.
But just a light cover had come off,
Which did relieve my guilt some.
Satisfied I was still intact,
They offered me some whiskey.
But they only had some Kenyan,
So I opted for a mug of tea.
For all that I’d cut her play short,
The young owner’s awe she did confide.
“Did you see she didn’t cry Daddy?
If I’d fallen like that I’d have cried!”

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Filed under Rhymes